


Boxes and Clouds

by Kudalyn



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: 'during' the series, Canon - Manga, M/M, NSFW, Puzzleshipping, Within Canon, angst and fluff and smut all in one hoo boy, but the rest is angst and fluff, keeping secrets, lots and lots of angst and fluff, there is a small section of pure filth be prepared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 05:05:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9641882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kudalyn/pseuds/Kudalyn
Summary: Everybody keeps secrets.Not so small oneshot, got an idea and ran with it one night. Please enjoy!





	

The first time Yami notices the boxes, it’s when Yugi’s half-buried in his soul room’s toy chest.

“I know it’s in here somewhere! I played the game when I was a kid, I’ve gotta still have the memory…” his partner’s voice was partially muffled by plastic figures and more than one lovingly battered game console.

“Take your time, Yugi. It isn’t wise to be rough with one’s memories.” Yami cautioned, idly flipping through a dog-eared comic book he had pulled off the shelf.

They caught the corner of his eye, just barely visible from where they were stuffed under the bed. Curious, he walked forward, toeing a toy or two out of the way as he went.

He got a better look at them once he knelt down, but didn’t try to pull them out. This was his partner’s mind after all, and it would be disrespectful to dig where something has obviously been hidden.

They were just a few boxes, nothing special… aside from where excited script was scrawled across the cardboard.

“Yugi’s private stash!” said one box. “Keep out!!” cried another. “This means you!!” screamed the last.

Mildly intrigued, Yami left well enough alone and sat back on his ankles. Curious, he was, but there was absolutely no way he was going to peep. He and his partner hadn’t been together all that long, and they tried their best to keep open-minded to the other - in this case literally. The spirit had thought that there was absolutely nothing hidden between the two of them.

Obviously, he had been wrong.

Still, Yami knew better. He wasn’t even going to bring up the topic of the boxes - obviously they were some secrets that Yugi wanted to keep locked up.

Even from his other self.

Huh. That thought made his chest ache a little. Yugi keeping secrets? Well, it was understandable when he thought more about it. Yugi was a normal teenage boy, so there shouldn’t be any surprise that he had them. No matter how kind and open hearted he was.

“Ah-ha!!” Yugi suddenly yelped from the toy chest, and while he was busily trying to excavate himself from where he was buried, Yami crawled away from the edge of the bed and picked up a magazine that had been left on the floor.

If Yugi wanted to keep some things to himself, then Yami would respect that wholeheartedly.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next time Yami saw them, it was a year or so later.

He had forgotten all about the boxes, honestly. But he was still surprised when he had reached under Yugi’s bed to retrieve the dice he had dropped - only to see some newer, less battered looking boxes joining the originals.

These ones looked a little newer, the others now having obvious dents in them as if they had been unceremoniously kicked under the frame multiple times.

“Yugi’s private stuff.” they still said. “Don’t look, please!” they pleaded, a little more neat and polite than the older boxes.

Yami paused, wondering. What kind of secrets did Yugi have that he’d need even more boxes to hide them from prying eyes?

This time, the urge to peep was stronger, particularly over the addition of new boxes. They’d been partners for some time now, and although they still were very open minded towards each other, things had… changed a little over time.

Experiences changed a person, and in Yugi’s case it was much for the better. In such a  short time, his partner had grown immensely, and the spirit was eagerly looking forward to the kind of person he knew Yugi could become.

But while Yugi had changed, so had the spirit. For example, he himself now knew the importance of keeping certain things private, for the sake of peace and a stable relationship. Now, he also was learning that curiosity was a powerful thing, much more so than he had experienced ever before.

He roughly shook his head, or as well as he could with his cheek pressed to the floor. It didn’t matter. Yugi’s privacy was important. He was already being given immense trust from the teen to be allowed to peruse Yugi’s soul room when it wasn’t being used - such as now, when Yugi was in school and Yami was occupying himself with the collection of games in Yugi’s mind.

Dice in hand, the spirit picked himself off the floor and dusted himself off, returning to his attempt at learning how to play these new editions of ‘role playing games’ that Yugi had recently gotten interested in. They played similar to what he was used to… but the rule and lore books were dauntingly thick.

Still, it was nothing that could deter him, and he immersed himself back into his task.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It had been another year, and Battle City had been hard on both of them.

The hubbub was more or less dying down, everyone hoping to return to some semblance of calm and normalcy after the chaotic storm that the joke of a tournament had been.

Yugi had been uncharacteristically quiet the past couple of weeks. Towards Yami, at least. On the outside, he seemed just as energetic as usual.

The silence of their mental bond spoke otherwise to Yami.

Inside his own soul room, floating in an unconsciously regal pose, the spirit fretted.

What had he done to warrant such silence from his partner? Had he said something that had upset him? Normally Yugi brought it up right away if something like that occurred, not wanting negativity to fester between the two of them.

Was the stress and the fright of the multiple dangerous escapades Yami kept getting them into finally scaring Yugi off? He didn’t blame the teen, honestly. Although Yugi seemed to naturally draw trouble to himself, it was the spirit’s influence that caused that trouble to be supernatural.

Yami had dug himself into his own thoughts so deep that he didn’t even notice his partner’s call at first.

The gentle, insistent sensation brushing at the back of his mind finally broke through, and Yami immediately responded to the summons. It took him but a moment to arrive at his own soul room door - and another few moments to center himself and banish the emotions chewing away at him till later.

His partner deserved him at his best, and that was what Yugi was going to get.

The door to Yugi’s soul room was open as always, and Yami walked through, squinting a little at the brightness compared to his own room.

“You called, partner?” he said, looking around for Yugi, and finally spotted the teen sitting on his bed partially hidden behind the door.

Yugi looked... pensive, was the first word that came to the spirit’s mind. Nervous too, but… determined. Like he had finally decided on something monumental.

Yami swallowed, just the tiniest little gulp.

Yugi looked up at Yami finally, a smile flitting across his face before it faded a little, and he patted the bed beside him.

Instead, Yami knelt on the floor at Yugi’s feet.

“Partner… if I’ve done anything to upset you... I’m terribly sorry. I - I’d never meant to hurt you, and while I’m not sure what I’ve done I can hope you set me straight and accept my apologies…” Yami started rambling off, too nervous and set on Yugi’s forgiveness to even look at Yugi’s face. Instead, he stared at his sneakers.

“Yami - Yami woah wait, stop.” Yugi said, and Yami’s waterfall cut short, his jaw snapping shut.

He heard Yugi give a little breathy chuckle, and mustered up the courage to meet Yugi’s eyes. His partner was smiling at him, endearing but exasperated at the same time.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, Other me. Instead… I’m the one that should be saying sorry.” he said, and Yami blinked at him.

“For whatever for?”

Yugi looked away this time. “For… kind of ignoring you, these past weeks. I’ve been doing some heavy thinking, and I didn’t even realize I was shutting you out in the process. Well, sort of - I wanted to keep my thoughts quiet, but I guess I was too quiet in the end, to make you worry this much.”

The admission that Yugi had been keeping Yami at a distance stung, but the fact that he was immediately apologizing to it was a balm.

“You have no need to apologize, partner. You are completely allowed to keep your thoughts private, if you do so wish. This is your body, and in the end, your mind I am intruding on. You have every right.” Yami swore, and Yugi let out a little fond sigh that made his heart flutter without permission.

“We’ve been over this too many times before, so I’ll let it slide this time. I’ve got more important stuff to talk about.” he said, and bent down between his legs to reach under the bed.

Yami’s heart gave another little lurch at the sight of a familiar cardboard box being hauled out from the darkness under the bed.

Though not as familiar as he first thought at first glance - this box was quite new and obviously well cared for. Instead of messy script, words were written crisply in marker along a top flap.

“Please, do not open.” it said, very politely and maturely. It spoke volumes about Yugi’s growth since he had last seen the other boxes.

“I’ve been keeping secrets.” Yugi said, Yami’s eyes still glued to the cardboard sitting innocently in Yugi’s hands. “At first, it didn’t seem like a big deal. Every teen keeps secrets, right? Specially… these kinds of secrets.” Yugi sounded bashful now, and the spirit was rewarded with the sight of a bright blush across his partner’s cheeks when he looked up.

“But after a while, I started keeping different kinds of secrets. Not just from everyone, but specially from you. And while I realize it’s not the nicest thing to hear, I don’t apologize for it. I believe it was the right thing to do, at the time.” Yugi closed his eyes, fingers picking away at the flaps on the box, as if he was working up his courage as he spoke.

“But now… now I feel it’s the right time to share these secrets with you. I feel that if I don’t… I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.” he said softly, and Yami’s traitorous heart gave another thud.

“Yugi, it’s alright. If it’s - if it’s too tough…” Yami started, ignoring the small hungry, curious thoughts squealing at him in his head, when Yugi cut him off with a sharp look.

“No, Yami. It wouldn’t be alright. I need to do this.” He said, taking a deep breath. “While it’s terribly scary, if I’m honest with myself… it needs to be done. For me. For us.”

Before Yami was able to actually focus on the ‘us’, Yugi ripped open the box.

Yami had partially been expecting light, or confetti, or… magical sparkles for all he knew, but the box remained quite boring. Particularly so, when Yugi began pulling out what appeared to be pages of blank paper that he began flipping through.

Yami watched intrigued as Yugi’s eyes took on a lightly faded look, as if he was seeing things only he could see. His expression changed with each new page he focused on as well, muttering to himself.

“Not this one… not that one… most definitely not this one, not yet at least…” his cheeks blazed in turn, expression one of embarrassment and - dare Yami suspect - arousal?

“Ah, I guess this one will do. It’s still pretty… mmh…” Yugi finally plucked out a page, ruffling the rest back into a somewhat stack. “Now uh… h-here. Just take it. You’ll understand.”

He held the page out to a thoroughly confused Yami. Now able to see the side of the paper that had been facing away from the spirit, he could see that it wasn’t just paper - it was a photo. At least, that’s what he guessed it was from the blur of colors on its shiny surface.

Was that a mosaic?

“What…?” Was all Yami got out before his outreached fingers grasped the corner of the photo.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _Fingers ruffled encouragingly through Yugi’s hair, and he let out a deep moan against Yami’s hip bone. He pressed more feverish kisses into every inch of skin he revealed, peeling the leather off of his other’s hips._  

 _“Playing it a little dangerous, aren’t we Partner?” Yami’s deep baritone taunted, and Yugi glared up at him bashfully through his lashes._  

 _In the background, the sound of cars echoed through the alley, but on his knees in the gravel Yugi couldn’t care less._  

 _“You’re one to talk, you seem pretty eager yourself.” Yugi teased back, clicking his tongue when Yami’s dick bounced free of his briefs from where he had tugged them down with excited fingers._  

 _Yami only hummed, the fingers in his hair turning to a hand that pressed Yugi’s face against his shaft. Yugi took a deep breath, revelling in the musk that rolled off of his other’s loins. A groan bubbled up unbidden from his throat as he mouthed at Yami’s dick, laving his tongue along the underside._  

 _He slowly worked his way up to the tip, lapping at the precum beaded at the slit. The slick liquid coated his tongue, and he couldn’t help the happy little sigh that came out of him as he suckled on the head of Yami’s cock._  

 _The hand in his hair fisted tightly, and the little twitch of his other’s hips betrayed his excitement. It wasn’t often that Yami’s steel grip of control slipped, and Yugi was the only one who was able to cause that._  

 _That thought sent another little thrill down Yugi’s spine, and with his mouth watering at the thick flavor he started bobbing his head up and down, working his way down the shaft._  

 _The saliva made everything smoother, easier, so Yugi made sure to roll his tongue along his other’s dick at each pass, slowly working his way down. He’d pause every few moments to suckle, swallowing down the excess spit and precum before continuing._  

 _Yami’s breathing was harsh, little grunts and groans through his teeth as he obviously tried to keep his impulses in check. Yugi revelled in the fact that he was making it_ **_so_ ** _hard for Yami to hold himself back. Hopefully he’d be able to tease his way past that barrier, and oh man…_  

 _Yugi moaned around Yami’s dick at the memories of an unleashed Yami, and moaned once more when the head of Yami’s dick bumped at the back of his throat. His throat clenched in protest, Yami swore, and Yugi swallowed past the gag reflex. It always took a little persuading, but with a little patience…_  

 _“Oh,_ **_fuck,_ ** _Yugi…” Yami rolled out praise when Yugi’s nose bumped against his groin, lips touching skin. Yugi moaned around his mouthful, the sensation of his throat filled out sending sparks down his spine…_

 

 

* * *

 

 

Yami gasped out, dropping the photo like it burned him. The paper fluttered innocently to the floor, and the spirit placed a hand over his racing heart.

He _felt_ that. He felt the pure pleasure coursing through Yugi as assuredly as if he himself had been the one imagining the fantasy. The heart racing adrenaline, the imagined but damningly real sensations of Yugi’s throat being filled with - with -

He looked up at Yugi wildly, and the teen had enough sense to look bashful, at least.

“...Well?” he had the audacity to ask.

Yami was speechless. He tried speaking, but all he could manage was sputters.

Yugi leaned down and picked up the photo, eyes glazing over as he blushed as the fantasy played out in his mind’s eye. “Aww, you didn’t even finish it…”

That managed to get Yami’s words in somewhat working order. “Wh- what - wait, finish it? What was - _that_ was - _we_ were - “

“I’ve been… fantasizing about you for a while. Well, longer than a while, over a year at least I guess.” Yugi admitted, placing the photo back in the box, all business as he tried to forge past the obvious embarrassment he had. “It kinda just… happened, really. One fantasy turned to another, and next thing I knew I was thinking of you instead of the usual girl from one of Jou’s videos.”

Yugi folded an arm over the box, the other propping his head up as he looked off to the distance. “At first I was really shocked. Like, if I were to start thinking of guys that way, which I guess I do, it was no big deal once I got over myself. But of all the guys to choose from for a fantasy, I chose you? It was really, _really_ embarrassing. I wasn’t even sure I was able to hide those feelings from you through the link, it was so bad.”

He chuckled, while Yami blinked owlishly from the floor.

“Guess I managed to, more or less. But the more I thought about it, and the thoughts kept coming back… you kept showing up in my fantasies. And they felt really real… _really_ good. More so than most of my others, even when I - you know - to my videos.” Yugi’s face was an almost permanent pink now, but he forged on. “Probably helped that you share my mindspace, so memories of your touch and presence are really vivid.”

“First thing I did, of course, was slam those fantasies and thoughts into the deepest darkest spot in my mind. Which just so happens to be these.” Yugi tapped the cardboard amusedly.

“But more fantasies just kept popping up. I’d even have daydreams in the middle of class, for pete’s sake. And not just fantasies… I start thinking more about how - how you make me feel.”

“I realized that… over time, my deep feelings of companionship and partnership for you took on a different color. Well, not so much they changed, but they grew. Grew into something more.” Yugi finally looked at Yami, and the fondness… the blatant affection in his gaze had the spirit floored.

“Well, here. It’d be easier for me to show you than just tell you.” Yugi said, and began digging around in the box again.

Meanwhile, Yami was trying to gather up the scattered pieces of himself before Yugi sent them hither and yond again. This was all… too much. The spirit was having a hard time collecting his thoughts, which were frantically ricocheting around in his head.

A new photo was held in Yami’s view, and the spirit knew he couldn’t keep his overwhelmed feelings from showing on his face.

Yugi only smiled at him sadly, encouragingly, waving the paper in his grip.

The spirit’s shaking fingers made contact with the blurred sunset colors of the mosaiced photo.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_“I love him.”_

_Those three damning words were uttered into the complete silence of Yugi’s room at two in the morning, the young teen sitting upright desperately clutching a pillow to his chest._

_He leaned back against his wall with a thump, voice oddly hollow for such a heartfelt comment._

_“I love my other me.”_

_There was a few more moments of silence, before Yugi stuffed his face in his pillow and let out a long, muffled shriek._

_When his breath was spent, Yugi slumped over on his side, flopping to his mattress unceremoniously. He looked up at the Puzzle, dangling innocently on his bedpost._

_How could this have happened? It’s not like Yugi didn’t like that he had these feelings for Yami - wait no, it wasn’t a good thing, he shouldn’t like it! This could ruin their whole relationship if his other self caught wind of it! He didn’t even know if Yami liked guys that way!_

_Yugi paused, then snorted. Like guys that way - Yami was a freaking ancient spirit. What a thing to be thinking about when his crush didn’t actually have a physical body of his own. That should be the biggest thing he should be freaking out about. But no, he was worried Yami didn’t like cocks._

_The thought made Yugi blush, and he buried his face in his pillow again with a miserable moan._

_Ah, fuck him. It’s not like he can just turn his crush off. He’d tried that with Anzu for years, and failed miserably. Oh, speaking of which - guess his crush on Anzu was nonexistent now._

_He double checked with himself - well, the affection was still there, but the burning crush was definitely gone. Took up residence with someone new._

_Yugi rolled onto his back with a sigh. He stared up at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling, letting his thoughts settle like sand after the tide._

_He loved Yami. No playing light with those feelings, he’d been avoiding accepting those for weeks now, and all it had done was exhaust him. Was it a bad thing that he had fallen for his other self?_

_Well, at one point that may have been exceedingly worrying, back when he truly had thought of Yami as his ‘other self’, a facet of his personality brought to life with the Puzzle’s magic. It was a relief to at least know now that wasn’t the case. But the fact remains that Yami was still in essence a spirit, someone who had no body of his own, who could only prove his feeble existence to others by possessing Yugi’s body._

_And Yugi had already had weeks spent fantasizing about scenarios with that particular fact, thank you very much._

_Yugi hauled the pillow out from under his head and pressed it to his face._

_Okay, ignoring the whole ‘not really alive’ problem. If Yami was to actually find out these feelings of his… what would become of them?_

_Their whole thing was being in sync, of knowing each other’s thoughts and feelings like they were two sides of a duel monsters card. He’d already been having a hard enough time somehow hiding these fantasies of his from his other self for months now, but this revelation?_

_His friends always said he wore his heart on his sleeve, did that count for crushes too?_

_Yugi moved the pillow from his mouth when it started getting hard to breathe, keeping it over his eyes with his arms tossed over his head._

_It just felt… rude. To hide these feelings. Not just from Yami, but rude to his own heart. Feelings - love wasn’t a bad thing. He’d never ever thought that in his life. But he was scared. Scared that his feelings might mess up this already wonderful, amazing thing he had._

_Yami was his other self. He was the closest person in Yugi’s entire life, his best friend, his partner. They’ve shared almost everything in their lives together, their dreams, their thoughts, their goals and as far as Yugi was concerned, their body. Yami had as much claim to Yugi as Yugi had to Yami._

_He blushed at that last thought - Yami was his. Possessiveness was new to Yugi, but he found he liked the sensation, made him feel warm in his belly._

_Yami was his partner. He’d been so for a long time. But he wondered if Yami could ever, possibly, be his partner as well in this new and exciting way too._

_The thought made his toes curl pleasantly._

 

 

* * *

 

 

This photo slipped from Yami’s numb fingers, the flood of sensations cutting off.

Yugi _loved_ him. Truly, deeply, loved and adored him, in the most true and romantic sense of the word. That fact was as true as his spiritual heart beat in his chest.

The emotions that had poured into him from the photo filled him to the brim until it spilled over, and he found his vision blurring with overwhelmed tears. Love, fear, respect, affection, apprehension, devotion, even lust had lapped at him though the photo’s bond.

He startled when he felt gentle fingers brushing away his tears, and he looked up to see Yugi kneeling in front of him, box left momentarily on the bed.

Yugi’s eyes were watery too - their mental bond was clear and wide open he realized, and the pure adoration surging through it from Yugi made his eyes overflow anew.

“That was the first time I really thought about how I felt towards you, in that way. There’s - there’s a lot more in there, if you ever want to see them. I kinda - did a lot of thinking on the subject.” Yugi’s chuckle was weak as he nodded to the box over his shoulder, and Yami’s throat clenched.

“... I’m sorry, this is a lot to handle at once, I know. I just - I’m afraid. We have so much ahead of us… judging from what we learned in Battle City. And I might - “ Yugi cut off, choked. “I realized that… I’m probably going to lose you. And it’s terribly selfish of me, I’m so sorry - I know you need to move on, I can’t keep you trapped in that trinket just to keep you by my side.”

“You need your memories. There’s so much more to you than just ‘Yami’, my other self. I love you now, but I also want to get to know you, the _whole_ you. I know I’ll love you all the more then too.”

“But I needed to tell you how I feel. If I carried on as I was before, holding these feelings caged in just because I was afraid… it’d be cruel to both of us, I think. It’d only hurt us.”

Yugi was cradling Yami’s face with both hands, tenderly. Yami’s tears had slowed, but a few hot droplets still trickled over Yugi’s thumbs now and then.

He just couldn’t think. He was too overcome, too flooded in the endless sea that was Yugi’s love for him. It overrode his own emotions, his thoughts, till he could only feel what Yugi was pouring into him. He was drowning.

With a choked grunt, Yami pulled away, roughly tugging their mental connection shut. The sudden absence of sensation and emotions made him breathless, and he struggled to breathe.

Yugi’s expression tightened, he too feeling the connection’s sever. Yami desperately wanted to explain to him, to apologize, to say anything -

But he couldn’t.

Yugi sighed, resigned, as he picked up the forgotten photo and placed it in the box. It was the scraping of cardboard as Yugi folded the flaps shut that startled Yami’s tongue into movement.

“I need some time to think.” Was what he said, and he cursed himself when he felt the flash of pain, of rejection across Yugi’s face.

“It’s okay. I understand.” He said, and Yami hated the tight smile he received.

The spirit was barely able to stumble to his feet and out the door.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It had been a few weeks since Yugi had poured out his soul to his other self.

And those weeks had so far been absolute hell.

Oh, things were fine on the outside. School wasn’t being difficult, his friends were same as normal. But he’d barely been able to get a word out his so-called partner without extreme effort.

Yugi had taken to chewing most of his pens into pieces, more than once spluttering out in the middle of class when he got a mouthful of ink. Jou thought it was hilarious, Anzu was understandably worried. Yugi only said that that’s what he deserved for daydreaming and bad habits. It had taken days to get the ink stain off his teeth.

Now at home, Yugi was resting on his bed. No, scratch that, he was moping. The least he could do was admit that to himself.

Broken hearts _sucked._

Had he come on too strong? He hadn’t meant to, but most likely that’s what had spooked the spirit away. That much emotional baggage at once would frighten anyone.

He was so busy bemoaning the loss of their partnership, cussing himself out for being so _stupid_ and ruining such a good thing over _stupid_ feelings, that he almost missed it.

The smallest, politest little tug at their soul link.

Yugi had never slammed himself so fast into his soul room before. He even felt a little dizzy at the resulting whiplash of pulling himself so roughly from reality, but with wobbly steps he dashed out the door and into the hallway splitting their soul rooms.

He didn’t even let himself hesitate at Yami’s door, yanking it open.

Standing there inside, in the dead centre of the main hall of his soul room, was his other self. Looking a little shocked at how quickly Yugi had answered his summons, it seemed.

Yugi was a touch breathless, but he still tried to say at least _something_.

“Hi.”

Ah, smooth.

Yami smiled a little, amused. “Hello.”

Yugi rubbed his face, gathering himself enough to walk towards the spirit, standing before him. But words still evaded him, and all he could do was stare into Yami’s eyes, searching.

Yami matched his gaze for a few moments, before turning away. “Follow me, please.”

The teen eagerly fell into step behind Yami, throat clogged with words and questions and demands all trying to get out at once. He opted instead for silence, as Yami seemed to have. Their footsteps echoed softly around them, the spirit making so many twists and turns and upsidedowns until Yugi was thoroughly lost.

Eventually, when they had traveled so far into the maze that the ambient light around them had dimmed and the air took on a old, dusty scent, Yami finally stopped before a door.

It didn’t look any different from the others, aside from the way Yami was glaring into the aged metal. He let out a deep sigh, resigned, before opening the door.

The door creaked, but its complaints were ignored as Yugi followed Yami in the room determinedly.

Well, whatever Yugi had been expecting, it certainly wasn’t _this._

Clouds.

From floor to ceiling, the box of a room was stuffed with clouds. Small soft things, floating about aimlessly and bumping into the walls and each other. They were different colors and shades, some looking distinctly stormy.

Before Yugi could open his mouth, Yami spoke.

“Stay here, please. And please don’t touch anything.” He asked, barely giving Yugi a glance over his shoulder before wandering off into the clouds, fading from view and murmuring to himself now and then as he ran his hands through the motes.

Yugi was fit to burst.

He loved Yami, but what the _hell_ ? This wasn’t just confusing it was downright cryptic. Why the hell did his other self have a room full of _clouds_ of all things? Their mental link was still more or less closed off as well, so there was no way he’d be able to gauge Yami’s thoughts that way.

Half-lost in his internal grumblings, Yugi noticed one of the more colorful clouds had gotten… kinda close to him.

He took a step back.

The cloud drifted closer.

By the time Yami returned, clouds stuffed under his arms like pillows, Yugi was crouched in a ball on the floor, hands trying to hold his hair flat. Meanwhile the stubborn little cloud floated airily about a foot above his head, circling him happily.

“What the - “ Yami sputtered.

“It’s not my fault! It’s static or something! This darn cloud won’t leave me alone!” Yugi wailed, his gelled hair slowly winning in his fight to keep it out of the way, locks springing free between his fingers.

Yami blinked, before bursting out into low chuckles, releasing the clouds under his arms to allow them to float within reach.

“So that’s where this one went. Come here, stop taunting Yugi.” He said softly, and reached out and took the cloud in hand.

Now safe from the cloud’s wrath, Yugi sighed and stood upright, messing with his hair a little to get it more or less back into place. He found himself a little stunned at the gentle look Yami was giving the cloud, eyes unfocused in a way Yugi was very familiar with.

Yugi swallowed.

The spirit brushed the cloud off to one side softly, reaching for another in its place.

“I admire your creativity, Yugi. I’d never be so inventive as to store memories as photos under a bed.” He said, jaw lit by the ambient light the cloud gave off. It was lightly colored, but stormy under the surface, greys rolling through it.

“My memories coalesced as these. I’d never thought to give form to my memories, as I’m sure most people don’t. I’d just banish thoughts to the ‘back of my mind’ as everyone does, only to find this room one day when I was exploring idly.” Yami shrugged a shoulder. “My own little box of dirty secrets, I guess.’

Yugi chuckled nervously.

Yami paused, before holding the cloud out before him.

“You shared your darkest secrets with me. It’s only fair I share mine in turn.” he said, a determined look set in his gaze.

Yugi started to reach for the cloud, before he twitched in hesitation. Weeks of silence, and suddenly all this? Well, now he figured he could understand a little better how Yami had felt in his room back then. Being in the spotlight like this was terrifying.

Yami was steadfast however. Patient.

Yugi reached for the cloud.

At first - nothing happened. His fingers sunk into the mist, the distracted thought of holding a lightly damp cotton ball flitting through him, before -

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Yugi had done magnificently, Yami thought proudly._

_The boy was long since asleep, so the spirit didn’t have to be cautious about his thoughts, floating about in the centre of his soul room._

_Just earlier that day, Yugi had encountered a little trouble - some punk duelists had approached him, roughly taunting and jeering at him. His young host had been receiving such flack even weeks after Duelist Kingdom had finished, praising Yugi as the grand winner of the tournament._

_The fact that there wasn’t any actual recorded evidence or proof of the outcome had left quite many aspiring duelists sour. Most took it with grace, but there were still more that refused to believe that such a small, shy duelist had defeated not only Kaiba, but Pegasus as well._

_The jeering turned to rough pushes and jabbed fingers into his chest, and Yami was roiling within the Puzzle, determined to come out and lay waste to the mongrels._

_But the gentlest brush against his consciousness held him easily at bay._

_‘I can handle them.’ Yugi had simply said to him, and handle them he did._

_The half of the duelists were crying by the time Yugi had duelled them into the dirt, not even once attempting to call on the Puzzle for assistance. He had defeated them easily, his soft confident voice calling out his moves with no need for showy theatrics that most duelists try to intimidate with. He simply didn’t feel like wasting the energy on these bullies._

_Yami was practically glowing with pride by the time they got home. Yugi had dealt with his problems on his own, and the spirit couldn’t have been more proud. He could recall that mere months before, Yugi would have had a hard time standing up for himself, yet here he was now._

_Yami gave a satisfied little chuckle in the privacy of his soul room. Watching his young host grow so magnificently in such little time thrilled him endlessly, admiring and revelling in the pure potential Yugi had locked away in himself, but was slowly starting to come into his own._

_Yugi hadn’t even lowered himself to insults, letting his skills do the talking. Little things like that is part of why Yami loved him so much -_

_Yami’s thought screeched to a halt, face turning white._

_What._

_Oh god._

_Oh_ **_n-_ **

 

 

* * *

 

 

The memory abruptly cut off, and Yugi blinked back to reality as the cloud sifted through his fingers, and floated up and away over their heads.

“What - “

“That’s where I cut off that thought. I barely even allowed myself to think about it, I just cut it off like a dead limb, and banished it to the deepest depths of my mind.” Yami said quietly, eyes downcast as his hands clenched and unclenched at his side. 

“How could I? I shouldn’t - I couldn’t think of you that way. I was just a dark spirit leeching off of you, I didn’t deserve such thoughts. I would never burden you that way with my existence.” 

Yugi grit his teeth, inhaling a breath to scold Yami for ever thinking that way, he thought they had gone over this a bajillion times before, when was his other self ever going to learn? 

But Yami was reaching for another cloud, so Yugi slowly let the breath out through his nose, willing himself to calm. Throwing a little hissyfit now would only ruin the mood. 

This cloud was colored in the softest peaches and pinks Yugi had ever seen, though lightly muted by a touch of blue wafting through it. Yami held the pillow of fluff out to his partner silently, and Yugi chewed on his lip before digging his fingers into the mist.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _“What do you think of this one?” Yugi said, looking up at Yami._  

 _The spirit leant over a little more, hovering over the teen’s shoulder. Yugi was tapping the spell card in question with a finger, others laid out before him on the desk._  

 _They were going through their deck yet again, an almost weekly occurrence. It was calming to them to go over it, shuffle through it, try to make it better than before, familiarize themselves with the cards._  

 _Yami hummed quietly. “I think that one’s a little too situational. It’s powerful, but what are the chances of actually needing it? A little too risky, I think.”_  

 _Yugi’s face scrunched up a little in thought, but eventually he nodded before picking up another and reading the text box._  

 _Floating gently, his legs nothing more than ethereal wisps below him, Yami watched his partner._  

 _He watched the careful way Yugi’s fingers handled the cards, respectful when most others would handle them roughly, seeing nothing but cardboard and holographic paper. But Yugi understood the feelings, the meanings behind the cards. Sure, most of his cards may be one of a million prints, and he saw dozens more of them any day he worked at the Game Shop. But to him they were more. They had memories and emotions in them, little cards that he put his trust in, and they’d never let him down._  

 _Yugi made a little hum in thought, murmuring to himself under his breath. His soft voice was soothing, and Yami found himself revelling in Yugi’s welcoming presence._  

 _The warmth slowly growing in his chest finally caught his notice, and he shot bolt upright, not making a sound with his ethereal body._  

 _No, no_ **_no_ ** _. When were these damnable feelings going to stop haunting him? He’d already spent countless hours bartering and threatening himself - he’s not allowed to think of his partner that way. He’s_ **_not_ ** _._  

 _He is nothing. While Yugi is everything._  

 _Yugi began flipping through his trap cards next, seemingly satisfied with the selection of spells they had chosen for now. He laid them out one by one, side by side in a grid, and the gentle methodical movement lulled Yami momentarily._  

_Perhaps… allowing these feelings every now and then wasn’t an all bad thing. What Yugi didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, after all. And…_

  _The warmth - the full sensation in his chest, it was nice. He could entertain these thoughts a little longer, he supposed._

_The spirit leaned back over Yugi’s shoulder silently, watching Yugi’s elegant hands pick through the cards._

 

 

* * *

 

 

The memory faded gently, and Yugi came back to himself to realize that Yami had pulled the cloud away from his hands. 

“That ‘little longer’ turned into the rest of the evening.” Yami said softly, amused. 

Yugi frowned, opening his mouth to voice his protest. He wanted to continue watching that memory! The sensation flooding through him… Yami’s apprehensive but strong feelings of affection made Yugi’s heart ache in the best of ways, particularly after the hurt he had been going through these past few weeks alone. 

But Yami nudged the cloud up and away, and it floated off towards the ceiling. Yugi noticed something odd - Yami’s cheeks were the faintest of pinks, as if he was fighting with himself desperately to keep the color off his face. 

“Yugi, please - not yet. Let me finish. I need - if you interrupt, I’m afraid I might lose my nerve and…” 

Now that floored Yugi. Yami, losing his nerve? He’d always assumed that was a nigh impossible task. But watching Yami fidget - actually fidget nervously in front of him, made Yugi snap his mouth shut. All words were lost to him, seeing his other self so… flustered. 

Yami smiled gratefully at Yugi, and brought yet one more cloud down in between them. 

Ah, Yugi recognized this one. He scowled a little at the colorful little thing, and it seemed to cheekily roll through bright colors in return. 

“This one… ah... “ Yami’s words fade, and he seemed to have finally lost his battle with his blush, the color becoming on his cheeks. The color makes Yugi flush in turn, and he realizes with a start that their connection - their mental link that until now had been steadfastly kept closed was thrumming, as if Yami was having a hard time keeping the gates on his end closed. 

Suddenly, Yami thrust the cloud forward, and Yugi’s hands sunk into the haze.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _Yami was pacing, ethereal footfalls soundless as he hovered a good few inches above the floor._  

 _He’d nearly lost Yugi._  

 _Good gods, Yugi had nearly_ **_died_ ** _. No, not just died, was nearly banished forever to the shadow realm, his soul left bare to be devoured by demons and monsters alike._  

 _The thought made Yami shiver violently, and his pacing sped up._  

 _The duel had been close, far far too close. Yugi had been barely visible, just his arms and head floating at Yami’s side while the rest was being sucked into the dark realm. Malik’s corrupt spirit had almost gotten the best of them, and Yami had been having a hard time focusing through the pained haze he felt from the battering his own soul took from the spiritual attacks._  

 _If it wasn’t for Yugi’s steadfast belief in Yami, and the deck they had meticulously built for that duel…_  

 _A small pained groan slipped past Yami’s lips. The duel, nay, their battle had finished hours ago. It was long after their triumph over Malik’s malignance come alive, and the sudden revelation the Rare Hunter had shown carved into his own back. Yugi had wandered into his room on the blimp as they were travelling back to Domino, utterly exhausted, and had promptly passed out on his bed._  

 _Yami didn’t blame his partner. He honestly was wrung out as well. But in the silence, in the dead of night while Yugi’s mind was closed off in deep slumber, now would be a time for Yami to reflect on himself. On the life-changing knowledge they had just gleaned, on what that meant for his existence._  

 _But all he could think about was how he had almost lost Yugi._  

 _The spirit ran his fingers desperately through his hair, trying to calm himself. They were okay. Yugi was okay. Yami found himself wandering over to where Yugi laid in the bed, limbs sprawled askew where he hadn’t even been able to tug the sheets over himself before he fell asleep._  

 _Hands trembling faintly, Yami willed himself into existence long enough to pull the sheets up and over his partner. At the sensation, Yugi mumbled in his sleep and curled up into a more normal sleeping pose, hair mussed against the pillow._  

 _Warmth bloomed in Yami’s chest. He’d do literally anything to keep Yugi from harm ever again._  

 _The thought made him pause. Where normally, at this point he’d gently but firmly cut those feelings of affection off, and bury them deeply where they belonged… he couldn’t bring himself to do that now._  

 _Instead, he sat down on the bed beside his partner, not even making a dent in the fabric. He reached out a hand and gently brushed a few strands of blonde away from Yugi’s face, tucking them behind his ear, able to touch his host without expending any energy._  

 _Yami was too tired to fight with himself right now. Beaten, battered, and bruised, he couldn’t even muster the willpower to lock away these feelings that had been insistently haunting him for what had to have been almost a year now._  

 _Instead, he let them be. He closed his eyes, allowing the warmth to surge through him, filling him entirely. He’d been fighting this losing battle for so long… as hard as he had tried, nothing he had done or tried could change how he felt about Yugi, in the end._  

 _He loved Yugi. With every single piece of his soul, he loved Yugi endlessly._  

 _The thought, though sweet, still made his heart ache. As much as he loved his partner, as much as he wished so so desperately that he could be the one to make Yugi happy, to give him the life he deserves…_  

 _It wasn’t to be. He was just a spirit. The very pointedly_ **_dead_ ** _spirit of some long-forgotten Pharaoh, of all things._

 _He didn’t feel like a king. He just felt like some useless fool in love._  

 _Yami sighed deeply, and allowed himself to filter back into the Puzzle, into his soul room. Was there a difference at this point? He wasn’t sure._  

 _Now in the sanctity of his soul-come-prison, Yami floated loosely in the main hall of the maze._  

 _He looked about it sourly - where before, he’d always taken it at face value. He’d never known anything else of course, nothing aside from the maze, and the endless abyss of shadows and nothingness that had chewed away at his very self for millennia. Now he knew that this quite possibly wasn’t what his soul room was supposed to look like - not entirely. It had been long warped from the influence from the Puzzle, and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever know what it was truly meant to look like._  

 _For the millionth time, he praised the gods that Yugi had been the one to find him._  

 _He shook himself slightly, directing his thoughts away from the darkness he had been allowing himself to brood in, focusing again on his feelings about Yugi._  

 _What was he to do about this revelation?_  

 _Well, nothing. Obviously. If Yugi learned of his feelings towards him… it could very possibly spell the end of their partnership. He would never imagine - or at least, he hoped - that Yugi would ever disgustedly discard him from his body. He just wasn’t that kind of person, and they’d been together for so long he couldn’t bear to imagine being apart from Yugi._  

 _But still… he could very easily cause a rift between them with his feelings, particularly if Yugi didn’t feel the same way as him - no, let alone that, the very painful fact that he did not belong here._  

_He did not belong in the plane of the living. He was a spirit, an incorporeal being that was tied to a easily broken inanimate object. One missing puzzle piece, and he didn’t exist anymore. The only reason he was here now, thinking about this at all, was purely Yugi’s kindness._

_He had literally nothing to offer Yugi. Not a body, not an existence, not a life. He had his soul, and what a meager soul that was. There was no way he could ever let Yugi know about his feelings. It could only hurt Yugi deeply in the end when their bond was to inevitably be broken. It was too dangerous a gamble._  

_And as a gambler, he knew when to cut his losses._

 

 

* * *

 

 

Yugi first became aware of how his eyes were blurry. Not just blurry - absolutely on _fire_ with tears. The cloud floated up and away between them, and Yami was just as teary as Yugi was. 

“I was too afraid. Of what could happen, of how I could hurt you. And the last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you, so… I’d rather live with my pain than ever let it touch you. I was okay with that.” Yami said, voice somehow steady despite the tears streaking down his cheeks. “All I wanted was to be by your side, and for you to be happy. If I had to struggle a little for that to happen, I’d gladly do so for the rest of my life.” 

“And I too, don’t apologize for keeping this secret… as you did, I didn’t want to ruin what we had. I’d never have ever expected, even entertained the thought that you’d feel the same way for me…” Yami’s voice trailed off, expression one of blissed disbelief. He shook his head in wonderment. 

“I still, can’t get over that fact. Just that - this... “ He waved a hand between them, words escaping him. He paused to collect himself, the hand pressing against his mouth. 

Meanwhile, Yugi was trembling on his feet, hands clenched in his shirt desperately as he struggled to remain in place, to let Yami finish. 

Yami eventually sighed. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you this. I just - was trying to think of the best way to tell you. I mean - I’d be a plain fool to deny my feelings after all you’ve given me. I can’t… you’ve given me so much, and I’ve so little to give in return... “ 

He looked up at Yugi, and suddenly their mental bond snapped open. Yugi gasped, knees nearly crumpling as he felt the flood of Yami’s romantic affection, of his love - it was so deep, so desperate, borderline worship... 

“All I can give you is my self. And if you can find it in yourself to accept that…” 

Yami was unable to finish the sentence, for suddenly he had an armful of blubbering teen knocking him over onto the stone floor. 

Yugi crammed his face into Yami’s shoulder, tears dampening the fabric as he tried to hold steady despite the flood that rushed through him. 

Yami _loved_ him! Truly, desperately, to the point he didn’t even know what to _do_ with himself, loved Yugi! 

This was so much more than he could have ever hoped for, and the relief he felt was so thick he was choking on it. When Yami stumbled out of his room back then, dazed and blotchy-faced, Yugi had no idea what to expect. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, so he had refused to think too hard about it. 

But now… Yugi let out a warbled little laugh, and thrummed when he felt Yami do the same. Yami buried his face into Yugi’s hair, gel be damned, and Yugi nearly melted into his other self when Yami’s arms came up and held Yugi so tightly to him Yugi wondered if he was trying to meld them together. 

Yugi kind of liked that thought. 

Their bond was vibrating, overwhelming and drowning with the surge of affection and adoration that was being shared, responded and ricocheted between them, to the point they had a hard time telling whose emotions were whose. It didn’t matter, in the end. What mattered is that they were _together._  

Yugi felt his other tremble against him as that thought was shared as well, their minds laid bare to each other. There were no secrets, not any more, not ever again. They’d slowly reveal everything they’d been hiding, until once again things were clear between them. 

Eventually, they managed to calm down, Yugi sitting cradled in Yami’s lap as the teen drew patterns against the spirit’s back. They still traded little sentiments, sweet things between them through their bond, but thankfully the initial flood had settled. 

“So…” Yugi rubbed his face against Yami’s shoulder before propping his chin up on it. “Now what?” 

Yami was quiet for a moment, thoughtful. 

“I’m not entirely sure but…” He squeezed Yugi a bit tighter, earning a happy sound from his small bundle. “Whatever it is we are, whatever you want to give me, I want. I want to be with you forever, Yugi.” 

Yugi pressed a silly smile into Yami’s shoulder as those words wrapped themselves around his heart. “I want to be with you forever, too.”

The spirit made a small noise of content at that, turning his head to the side so he could press his cheek against Yugi’s head. The pose didn’t last long though, for Yugi rolled his head till he could look at the clouds floating about their heads. 

“So what else do you have up there?” he asked, and Yami tilted his head back to look up as well. 

“A lot of things. Not all of them good, I have to admit.” He dropped his gaze, pressing his mouth momentarily to Yugi’s shoulder. Yugi hummed in delight at the sweet contact. “While I’m glad you’ve expressed openness to share your secrets with me, I’d prefer if you didn’t go rooting around in here without me. There’s a lot of things I’d rather be able to protect you from if need be.” 

Yugi couldn’t hold back a tiny eye-roll, but was caught out when he felt the faint amusement at his reaction from Yami through their bond. 

“Fair enough. They’re your secrets.” He conceded, and Yami relaxed a little. 

Yugi lapsed into silence, but his curiosity was starting to build. He felt Yami’s interest pique in turn - the teen wasn’t so much as hiding his thoughts, but muffling them slightly as he mused, building suspense. Yami waited patiently.   

“Do you have anything dirty?” Yugi grinned.  
  
Yami sputtered.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is the first time I've surpassed more than 12 pages in google docs while writing something. Sounds a bit lame most likely, but I made myself finish this properly. I feel if I broke it up into chapters it just wouldn't be as good.  
> I hope I was able to portray this well, it can be difficult to properly describe things the way they appear in one's head, and describing emotions is always a challenge. Even still, I hope you enjoyed the read!  
> Feel free to ask me questions about this one, I'll be happy to answer them!  
> Wish I could finish that smut scene :Tc


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